


The Mistress

by i_paint_the_sky



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2017-10-31 23:51:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/349687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_paint_the_sky/pseuds/i_paint_the_sky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elissa Cousland, the favourite of King Cailan, finds herself thrown from the political arena into something completely different as the coming Blight changes her world forever.  Starts with Cailan/Elissa, eventual Alistair/Elissa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Blight

When Elissa Cousland walked through the halls of the Royal Palace, people moved out her way. As she passed by, some of them spoke to her, while others stared and still others looked away. Everyone _noticed_. She was, after all, King Cailan's favourite, his mistress, and the second most influential woman in the country.

She was on her way to see the King right now, in response to a summons that had come unnaturally early, cruelly chasing away her dreams. But when Cailan called, you came, no matter who you were, and Elissa had always done everything she could to keep him happy. It was her duty, after all, and she was very good at it. Still, something about this morning meeting had her on edge and so she had forgone most of her jewels and wore her hair bound simply, not wanting to wait for anything more complicated.

She opened the door to the King's study and was immediately surprised to see Teyrn Loghain standing inside. She squared her shoulders and raised her chin slightly, refusing to show any wariness, even if it was all she felt when this man and his cold, piercing eyes were near. Loghain, for his part, showed no sign that he was even aware of her arrival, though she knew better than to believe this was true. He stood near the wall, looking at a map of Fereldan. Just beyond him was a desk and behind it, a man who was certainly paying attention to Elissa being there.

“Elissa, darling,” Cailan exclaimed, rising from his chair and walking around the desk to embrace her, never mind that his wife's father was in the room. “I am sorry for waking you so early.”

“You have nothing to apologize to me for, Your Majesty,” she told him in a low voice. “Not now or any other day.”

Cailan smiled. “You are too good to me, my lady.”

“That would be impossible, Majesty,” she replied, enjoying the warmth in his arms and expression.

“There is, of course, a good reason for the intrusion.” Loghain's voice cut through the intimacy and Elissa took a small step back, in order to meet his stare.

“Yes, yes,” Cailan agreed, meandering back to lean on the desk. “You've heard, no doubt, about the recent reports from the south?”

“The ones about the darkspawn?” she asked, knowing already that it had to be.

“Yes. While there is still no sign of an archdemon, the darkspawn numbers are enough to warrant action. And so it has been decided that the army shall march on them, with me leading them personally into battle.”

It made perfect sense, but ... “Oh no, my King, you mustn't!” she exclaimed. “What if you were injured? Or worse? I do not think I could bear it.”

Loghain made some sort of sound but Elissa ignored it and Cailan did not seem to notice, as he was too busy rushing forward to embrace her again. “I must go, it is my duty. Besides, think of the songs they will sing about me when I return, victorious, just like the Kings of old. Surely you want that for me, don't you, love?”

Her only answer to this was to wrap her arms around him, pressing her face into the place where neck and shoulder met. His hands stroked her hair gently as he whispered into her ear that everything would be alright.

Finally, she looked up at him, his face inches from hers. “Whatever shall I do, while you are gone?”

He pressed his lips to her forehead. “Lo – I think it would be best if you were to spend some time away from court. I know your father is due to leave for Highever tomorrow, to gather the Cousland troops. I think ... it would be best if you were to join him.”

For once, Elissa did not know what to say. She knew what she _wanted_ to say, she wanted to beg Cailan to reconsider, for him to say no, of course he would never send her away. But she couldn't say that, not with Loghain in the room, the master architect of everything. So instead she just nodded slowly and tried not to see all her plans unravelling around her.

Cailan turned his head slightly, looking over at Loghain. “Please, Loghain, would you give us a moment?” The teyrn left without comment, though the door that closed behind him did make quite a noise. Sometimes, Cailan's gall was hard to believe.

The door was barely closed before Cailan's mouth descended upon hers, hot and demanding as ever. She moaned softly against him, the muffled sound only encouraging him to take more liberties with her. He placed his hands on her waist and began to apply pressure, forcing her to turn until they had reversed positions. Then, not missing a beat with his lips or tongue, he began to move them backwards, towards the desk. When she bumped up against it, his hands fell to her waist and lifted her up.

Cailan's hands quickly moved down to her legs now, lightly but firmly pushing her thighs apart, until there was room for him to stand between them. She could feel him, hard and straining, pushing up against her body and she gasped. He took the opportunity to press his lips to her throat, leaving a trail of kisses mixed with small bites as he moved down. “Cailan,” she cried out softly, finally able to let formalities drift away.

He stopped at that and suddenly his face was before hers, his expression more serious now than she had ever seen it before. “You won't forget me, will you, while I'm gone?” he asked. “You won't find some lordling to replace me?”

“Never,” she told him. “There is not a man in the world who could ever replace you.”

He said nothing to that at first, only staring at her and she felt as though she was being weighed and measured. Eventually though, he grinned. “Of course there isn't,” he said, his cocky smile back on his face as he kissed her again. Apparently, she had been found worthy.

He began to pull her skirts up with one hand, while the other snuck underneath the hem to run along her inner thigh. When he reached the apex of her legs, his thumb stroked her through the fabric of her dampening undergarments and she moaned, needing more and needing it now.

“You like that, do you?” he asked, his voice and breath husky against her ear.

“Yes,” she managed between gasps, “you know I do.”

He nibbled on her earlobe. “I know what you like even more too,” he murmured as his fingers slipped around the fabric and began pulling the garment down her leg. His other hand was on his trousers, working at the fastener.

“Cailan, oh yes ...”

It didn't take him long to free himself from his clothes and Elissa reached down with one hand to stroke his cock, hard and ready for her. It was the King's time to groan then and he moved quickly to position himself, tip at her entrance, and then in one swift and smooth movement he was inside of her.

“Elissa,” he moaned. It always thrilled her when he said her name, drawing the s sound out as he took his pleasure. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pressing against him, taking him deep. They moved together, knowing each other's rhythm well, and it wasn't long before she felt the beginning of her orgasm. She closed her eyes, clung to Cailan, and let the waves wash over her. At her height she called out his name again, just as he cried out hers.

Afterwards, she let herself cling to him for a moment, feeling the pounding of her heart echoed by his. It was different than usual but not unpleasant – and also so necessary, given the circumstances. He was going off to war and if something happened, if he didn't come back ... 

Cailan pressed his lips to hers softly before sliding out of her and taking a step back. “I will come back to you, my darling girl. I promise.” And with that he re-fastened his pants and turned, walking towards the door. She opened her mouth to call him back, until she saw the squaring of his shoulders. He was on royal business now, no more time for pleasure. So she just sat there and watched him leave, then listened until his footsteps faded down the hallway.

She pushed herself off the desk and began to make herself presentable again. As she did, she let herself think about everything that had just happened. It was a Blight, or at least it might be. She had heard about them but only in story books and in the histories Aldous always tried to make her learn. She had never imagined that they might turn out to be real again. But scared as she was, she knew Cailan would be fine. He was their King, golden and untouchable. And even if he faltered, Loghain would be there.

Yes, Elissa was certain that there was nothing she would have to worry about. Maybe it would even be pleasant to go home for a bit – at very least it would be better than being in a court ruled by Anora without the King's protection. Perhaps there would even be ways to advance her plans from Highever. And, of course, when it was all done, Cailan would call her back and everything would return to normal.


	2. The Rose Garden

The next morning Elissa's rooms, usually a place of much needed relaxation, were in chaos as her servants hurried to prepare for her journey home. Everywhere Elissa turned, there was clothing being stored, jewels being carefully packed away, and all accompanied by chitter and chatter and _noise_. As soon as she was dressed she hurried to get out of there. Unfortunately the hallway was also full of people, as everyone else prepared to ride off as well, be it to home or to battle – or both, in cases such a her father's. She walked swiftly through the halls, stopping onto to enquire about the King's whereabouts this morning.

“His Majesty is with the Queen and her father, my lady,” the maid said, the girl taking great care to not look her in the face. Elissa turned and walked away without even a thank you, knowing this news meant that she would not be able to see Cailan before she left and cursing that fact with every step. She knew she shouldn't leave court, she could feel all the gains of this last year slipping away, all the prestige and influence fading.

No, _no_. She breathed in deeply, trying to regain control of herself. There was no point in getting emotional about this. Everything would be fine, it had to be. She took another gulp of air in and let it slowly out. Better, better. As long as she did that, she would be –

A raised and all too familiar voice coming from a nearby room quickly ruined that attempt. “Eamon, you need to calm yourself. With the current situation, we must all focus our efforts on fighting the darkspawn. Everything else can wait.”

“But if Cailan would only see reason–”

“See reason about what?” Elissa said as she glided through the doorway.

Arl Eamon of Redcliffe spun about, his face flushed under his beard. His brother, Bann Teagan, was the first to recover himself. “Lady Cousland, it is a pleasure as always to see you.”

She smiled. “I'm sure it is.”

“Lady Cousland, please forgive us,” Arl Eamon said, his colour finally beginning to fade. “We did not mean to disturb you.”

“I am not disturbed in the slightest, I assure you,” she said, walking further into the room. “But I am curious as to what exactly could have caused you to make such a scene.”

The two men eyed each other and then her. Elissa was always cautious with the King's uncles, knowing that they held a fair amount of emotional sway with Cailan, not to mention great support among the Bannorn. But the entire court knew that earlier this year the Arl and the King had been in some sort of argument, even if no one had heard just what it was about. Cailan had definitely been in a foul mood though and hadn't called for her that night, nor any other that week. It was still only recently that the Arl had been received back in court. Instinct and the obvious told her these matters had to be connected.

For a moment, she thought Eamon might actually tell her what exactly was going on. It must be serious indeed. But just as it looked as though he was going to tell her, Bann Teagan interrupted. “My lady, we apologize again for our behaviour but please, pay it no mind. It is not something that affects you.” 

The Arl looked back at his brother, then nodded. “Yes, yes, you need not worry yourself over us. We all have greater matters to turn our attention to.”

Elissa was disappointed, though not surprised. She had long known that these men did not exactly approve of her relationship with the King, nor any of the favourites before her. Perhaps they still felt lingering ties to the Queen's crown, even if it was no longer their sister who wore it. Or maybe they just objected to anyone else having sway over Cailan, she did not know.

“Will you be riding with the King?” she asked, allowing the subject to change gracefully.

“No,” Arl Eamon told her. “His Majesty believes that the Grey Wardens will be enough to win the battle, along with the other troops promised. But I shall be returning to Redcliffe and sending what men I can, though Maker willing they will not need to be called upon.”

Elissa nodded. “Then I wish you both a swift and uneventful journey.”

“To you as well, my lady,” said Bann Teagan. 

The reminder of her imminent departure made her mood darken again. “Thank you, my lord,” she told him. “And perhaps next time when you have an argument, you will remember to close the door first.” Before either man could respond she turned and headed back out into the hallway. Elissa couldn't help smiling as she walked away from them. Surprisingly, that had improved her day, even if she hadn't learned anything too useful. Still, it was nice to know that she had the upper hand over them, for once.

There was a door leading outside to her right and she went through it, breathing in deeply as she stepped out into the garden. This had always been her favourite part of the Palace, even back in the days of King Maric, when she had been a little girl in ribbons and pigtails. She still enjoyed ribbons some days.

She walked along the path she had taken so many times, with friends, with family, with Cailan, but most of all with only herself as company. She took each turn with purpose until she ended up at a bench tucked away in the corner, surrounded by white rosebushes, tall enough to hide her from view once she was seated. She clasped her hands tightly on her lap and closed her eyes, taking a moment just to think. No, a moment to stop thinking, Maker knows she did too much of that. Around her the wind blew softly; above her, the sun travelled across the sky ...

“Pup? Are you out here?”

Elissa jerked and then jumped to her feet at the sound of her father's voice. “Over here,” she called out. A few moments later, Bryce Cousland came into view and she smiled at him.

“I had a feeling I'd find you in the gardens somewhere,” he told her, smiling back. He offered her arm and she quickly took it and let him lead her back out along the pathway.

“Is everything ready for us to depart, then?” she asked.

“No, not yet,” he replied. “It won't be much longer though. I wouldn't have expected you to be eager to leave here.”

Elissa sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder. “No, I'm not. I don't want to go.”

Bryce turned his head to kiss her forehead. “I know, Pup, but we don't have much choice in the matter. Besides, I'm sure your mother is looking forward to seeing you.”

“Interrogating me, you mean,” Elissa said, with warmth. “Every letter I get from her is always filled with as many questions as she can cram onto one piece of paper.”

“You know Eleanor, she just wants to feel involved.”

“Yes,” she agreed, straightening her head, “but sometimes it just gets a little ...”

“Overwhelming?”

“Awkward.”

Bryce laughed. “I suppose that's only fair, when dealing with matters of such a delicate nature.”

 _Delicate nature_. Yes, Elissa supposed it was rather delicate to help manoeuvre your daughter into the King's bed. “It will be nice to see Fergus again. Oh, and Oren must be getting so big now.”

“Children do grow up so fast, it's true,” he agreed. “And it's been too long since I saw him as well. If only this visit were for a more cheerful reason.”

Elissa stopped then, forcing her father to stop as well and look at her. “Are you worried about the battle?” she asked, her voice low.

Bryce's brow furrowed and he looked right into her eyes. “If I didn't, I would not be going. I have been in battles before and I know that so little of war is about glory, at least not until after the dead are buried and the histories properly shaped. But long have I served under Teryn Loghain's command before and I trust that he will lead us well again.”

She only paused a moment before rushing forward and wrapping her arms around him. He returned her embrace and the world seemed perfect, if only for a fleeting moment. “Still, we should enjoy our time at home, with family. And friends as well, since most of our sworn lords should also be there.”

“Such as?” she asked, her interest piqued as she finally pulled back and took his arm again.

“Arl Howe, Bann Loren, really almost everyone. Perhaps you should be happy you are otherwise engaged or else your mother would certainly be seeing prospective husbands at every turn.”

“Maker preserve me,” she said with a wry smile. “She may try and do it anyway.”

“Well then, darling girl, we should go and see about speeding things along, before you decide that you'd rather run and hide out somewhere instead again?”

Elissa scowled. “That only happened once and I didn't even hide all that well.”

Bryce wisely didn't say anything to that, instead turning them to walk towards the door. At the door, Elissa reached out towards a flower – a lily – growing there and plucked the blossom. She inhaled its scent deeply and held it against her breast. She didn't know why but she suddenly felt the great need for a memento, a piece of this beautiful place to take with her.


	3. Highever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has reviewed or is following this story, it's very exciting to know I have people out there who want to read more! Also, because I horribly neglected to do this early, I would just like to take a moment so give special thanks to my beta, Margaret, who is going to let herself be spoiled for the Human Noble Origin in order to look over the next couple of chapters for me.

The journey from the capital to Highever was long but thankfully uneventful. The guards had been extra vigilant, watching not only for bandits but also for darkspawn. There were no signs of either, though bandits were unlikely to approach a group of this size. As they drew closer to their destination, Elissa began to spot the familiar landmarks she remembered competing with Fergus to see first when they were younger and eager to be home. And then there was the scent of ocean water on the wind and her heart began to throb.

When the keep first came into view, she wanted to throw open the doors of her carriage and run the rest of her way. When they got closer and she saw a familiar yet unfamiliar face waiting for them, she actually did, hardly waiting until the horses had stopped.

“Auntie Lissa!” Oren called out, waving his arms before running towards her. When he got closer, Elissa scooped him up in her arms and spun him around.

“And who are you?” she asked after putting him down. “You surely can't be my nephew because he's definitely not this big.”

Oren laughed. “I grew up!” he told her.

“No, dear one,” she said, “you haven't done that quite yet.”

He frowned but any response he might have had was lost when he suddenly spotted Bryce and with a cry of “Grandpa!” was off again.

Elissa let herself take a moment to watch, before giving herself a quick hair and skirt smoothing – just in time too, as her mother and brother came out into the courtyard. 

“Welcome home, darling,” Eleanor Cousland said as she embraced her daughter. “It is such a joy to have you here with us again.”

“It's good to see you too, Mother,” she replied. “I missed everyone very much. Well, everyone except Fergus, of course.”

Her brother laughed. “Always a pleasure, dearest sister,” he said before leaning over to kiss her cheek. “Oren was up at dawn to watch for you.”

“He always was a sweet boy,” Elissa said with a smile. “He must get that from his mother.”

Eleanor watched her children with loving exasperation. “Look at the two of you. Some things never change.” 

Fergus grinned, his expression a perfect mirror of his sister's. “I think I'll go greet Father, before you slash me to ribbons with that tongue of yours. Besides, he needs to know that we're still waiting for the order to march.”

As Fergus made his way towards Bryce, Elissa finally was able to take a good look around the courtyard. There was a great amount of activity going on off to the side, more so than one would expect even under the current circumstances. “Mother, what's going on?”

“Ah, Fergus thought it would be a good idea to have an informal tournament, to hone skills and boost morale.”

“I see.” Elissa pondered this information for a moment. “Will there be archery?”

Eleanor gave her a very pointed look before nodding. “Yes, there will. I suppose I cannot convince you to stay on the sidelines?”

“If you wanted me to stay on the sidelines, you should never have taught me how to use a bow in the first place.”

Eleanor sighed. “You know why we did that.”

“Of course I do,” Elissa said. “And that is exactly why I need to make sure I still remember how to shoot, just in case the Orlesians come marching back some day. Even though everyone but Teyrn Loghain knows they won't.”

“Well, my dear, it never hurts to be prepared.”

Elissa decided it wasn't a cause worth arguing, especially not if she wanted to participate in the tourney. Besides, there was still one face she hadn't seen yet and it was a very, very important one. She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled sharply. In the distance, she heard a bark. “Here boy,” she called out and less than thirty seconds later a mabari hound came into sight, barrelling towards her as fast as his legs could carry him. He ran right up to her, almost knocking her over in his exuberance. With a quick glance to check if Eleanor was still watching – she wasn't – Elissa knelt down and wrapped her arms around the animal. “Hello my sweet, darling Barkspawn. I missed you most of all.” 

Barkspawn whined into her hair before licking her neck as if it was the most delicious thing in the world. Elissa remained on the ground for several minutes, petting him and telling him what a good dog he was. And then finally she stood up, brushed the dirt from her skirt, and headed inside. 

The rest of the day was an ocean of familiar faces and welcoming words. And they just kept coming, more people than Elissa even realized she knew outside of the court. At many points during it all, she thought back at her horror at being sent back here, at how she had felt practically exiled. She had to laugh at it now because the only thing she felt now was how good it was to be home.

It was late at night before she found herself in the room of her girlhood, Barkspawn by her side as he had been all day. While the bed looked soft and warm and inviting, she convinced herself that there was one more pressing task to deal with before she could go to sleep. She walked towards a cabinet in the back corner of her room and opened the doors slowly. Inside was her armour. 

She reached out and took it out, frowning at the lack of lustre. It was to be expected, after sitting unused for so long, but still disappointing to actually see. She would have to send it down to be polished in the morning. She put it back inside and let her fingers run down the perfect curve of her bow. It was missing its string, naturally, but it was still beautiful. So many things to take care of before tomorrow's tournament. 

She closed the doors on her warrior ways and finally let herself collapse onto her bed. Barkspawn jumped up to lie beside her and, for once, Elissa decided to allow it, mabari breath be damned. It had been a very long day but as she closed her eyes she was thinking only of the next to come and what twists and turns it might bring to her. That night, she dreamed of flying arrows and cheering crowds and, most of all, of a world free from Blight and threat.

She rose early the next morning, even before her maid drew open the curtains. She dressed quickly immediately returned to her armour cabinet and took out the bow. While the rest would be left to servants to deal with, she was the only one allowed to lay hands on her weapon. Father had taught her that lesson early, saying this way her life was in her hands and hers alone. Of course, today's battlefield would hardly be as dangerous as the ones he was used to ... or the ones awaiting him and Fergus and Cailan.

Elissa did her best to push those thoughts away, at least for today, and she quickly made her way down to the training yard. Once there, she quickly spotted a familiar and dear face, one she had seen yesterday but only from a distance.

“Ser Gilmore,” she said as she walked up to stand behind him. 

He immediately stood up, laying the sword he had been polishing on the table before him. “My lady,” he greeted her with a wide smile. “It is a pleasure to have you home once more.”

She couldn't help but grin back. Ser Rory Gilmore. Despite the layers of formality that he insisted upon maintaining, he was her oldest friend and often her dearest as well. And sometimes a little more than a friend, though that was long before she went to court and dreamed of becoming more.

“You're competing today, I take it?” she asked.

“Yes, my lady,” he confirmed, “though only in the swords. I know I do not stand a chance against you when it comes to marksmanship.”

“You might these days,” Elissa told him. “I'm rather out of practice.”

“So I see,” he said with a small laugh, “since you seem to have forgotten that a bow needs a string to work.”

She smacked him lightly on the head with the weapon though she was laughing the entire time. “Very well, Ser Gilmore, you laugh now but I will be watching and waiting for you to get your comeuppance in the ring.” She turned and walked away, ready to fix that missing string problem. As she left, she heard his voice calling after her.

“You can wait, my lady, but that does not mean there will be anything to see.”

She didn't doubt it, though she was hardly going to admit that anyone other than herself. She had never seen anyone wield a blade with greater skill than Ser Gilmore, neither here nor in Denerim. Sometimes she doubted any such swordsman or woman even existed.

The tournament was set to begin mid-morning with the elimination rounds, with a pause for the afternoon meal which would be followed by the final bouts. There were a few hours until then though, which meant Elissa had time to prepare. After restringing her bow, she retrieved and donned her freshly polished armour. She didn't need it, of course, but it felt more appropriate somehow. The rest of her time was spent getting back into form and she was quite pleased to find that muscle memory and a childhood spent in practice still served her well. By the time the rest of the competitors arrived to start their own preparations, she was hitting the bull's eye more often than not. 

Just before the appointed time, Elissa spotted her father walking through the training yard. “Ready to give them hell, Pup?” he asked as he drew close.

“Always,” she told him. “How about you?”

“Not me, Pup,” Bryce said with a small chuckle. “I'll be watching today, nothing more, or else your mother would likely have my hide.”

“Then I will have to defend the Cousland honour myself,” she said, “since I know Fergus will not enter the ring with his wife in the stands.”

He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I have no doubt that you will do well, my fierce girl.”

“Thank you, Father,” she murmured before he turned and continued his walk, talking to all those whom he met along the way – one of the many reasons the people of Highever loved their teyrn. Eventually he did make his way to the main training ring and sit down, signalling that the tournament was about to begin.

It had been decided to begin with the sword, shield, and axe competition, which would be then followed by archery. After the break, the archers would be up first, to avoid having to reset the targets. This meant that Elissa had time to watch, though she decided against sitting down to do so. Soon the air was filled with the clanging of steel on steel and the scent of sweat. Being home had brought back so many waves of emotion but this was the strongest of all; she had always loved watching the knights train.

As expect, Sir Gilmore made his way through this preliminary round easily; at points, Elissa even suspected he might be holding back to give his opponent a chance. If that was true, she was both impressed and very much not for, while it was a noble thing to do, these men were also about the march into battle against an enemy who would give no second chances. She did not have too much time to dwell on this because suddenly her name was being called out as the archery began.

The format of the tourney was standard enough. A group of ten archers would line up at a set distance from the target and fired three shots. Whoever was furthest away was eliminated. Then the distance would increase and they would all fire again. This would repeat until only half of the original field remained. 

Elissa hardly paid any attention to who was in her group, focusing only on the target. She drew back the arrow and stared down its shaft, past the head, towards the red and white circle. She breathed in deeply, steadily, and then held it. Only after she let the arrow fly, only after she saw it hit her mark, did she allow herself to exhale. And then she looked down the line, smiling when she saw that many of the others had been further from the centre than she. Each time she fired, it was the same and soon her group had finished, whittled down to a manageable size and ready to wait it out until the final rounds later.

She decided to retire to the keep rather than watch the rest of archers shoot. Even though bows were her weapon of choice – the only one, in fact, that Mother approved of her learning – she didn't exactly find shooting them to be the most thrilling thing to watch, especially not with so many of the less skilled combatants still competing. 

Before she left though, she attempted to catch her father's eye; however, Bryce was deep in conversation with the man standing beside him. The man was tall and clearly muscular beneath the gleaming armour he wore. His skin was dark, marking him as being of Riviani ancestry. He had dark hair and a neatly trimmed beard and really was quite handsome, if a bit old for Elissa's tastes. 

She had absolutely no idea who he might be.

Well, she would just have to ask Father about it, though she would have to do it later. Shrugging to herself she turned away and headed towards the keep, thinking that perhaps she could walk by the kitchen and get her hands on a freshly baked roll, provided Nan's back was turned.

Just as she was about to leave the arena area, she felt a prickling on her neck. She turned back and the stranger was staring right at her. She met and held his gaze and time around them seemed to disappear. Then he nodded once, a crisp and clear gesture, before turning back to watch the competition.

Elissa stood still where she was for a moment, unable to shake the feeling that she had just been weighed and measured and found ... worthy? And then she shook her head and continued along her way, more curious than ever about that man and what his presence here today meant.


	4. The Grey Warden

The sounds of a hundred conversations filled the dining hall long into the night, mixed with bursts of laughter and all the other sounds found amongst brothers and sisters in arms. Elissa watched everything carefully from her seat at the high table. To her left were two empty spots, as Fergus had left early to continue making preparations for his departure, while Bryce had been called away to welcome the newly arrived Arl Howe. To her right, her mother was deep in conversation with Oriana, Fergus' wife. And so Elissa found herself to be the only silent person in the room.

She gazed across it until she spotted Ser Hanson, the man who had bested her in the archery competition, and she couldn't keep her eyes from narrowing slightly at him, not that he noticed. When she turned away, she discovered that Ser Gilmore was watching her, a knowing look in his eyes. She gestured from him to come forward.

“Congratulations on your victory, ser,” she told him when he drew near, raising her glass towards him. 

He stopped walking as he came to stand before her and smiled. “And congratulations to you as well, my lady, on your stunning second place finish.”

She grimaced. “Please don't remind me. I'll be seeing that last shot in my nightmares for weeks.”

Ser Gilmore shook his head slowly. “You should not be so hard on yourself,” he told her. “Ser Hanson is the sharpest shooter out of all of your father's men and he still almost lost to you. Had you been training regularly, I have no doubt that you would have emerged the victor.”

Elissa took a long drink of wine before answering. “Thank you, Rory,” she said finally, “it means a lot that you think so.”

“I'm not alone in thinking it either.”

She smiled. “That may be true but you know that your opinion has always meant more to me than most.”

Rory bowed his head slightly. “As always, my lady honours me with her esteem.”

“Lady Elissa,” a voice came from behind her. She turned around to see Percy, one of her father's stewards, coming towards her.

“Yes?”

Percy came to stand before her. “Your Lord Father wishes to see you in the main hall.”

“You may tell him that I will be there shortly.” She turned to Rory with a rueful grin and shrugged. “Duty calls,” she told him before draining her glass. She stood up took a deep breath, the heaviness of her armour making it harder than usual, and then quickly headed off to answer the summons.

When she entered the hall, her father was already there, as was Arl Rendon Howe, one of the family's closest allies. From the tone of their voices, Elissa had no doubt that the two of them were discussing times long past and battles hard won.

“At least the smell will be the same,” Bryce said with a smile. He looked up and noticed Elissa. “I'm sorry, Pup, I didn't see you there.

Arl Howe turned towards her and smiled. “Well met, Lady Elissa. As always, it is a pleasure to see you again, my dear.”

Elissa nodded, also smiling. “And you, Arl Howe.” She noticed his eyes drift up and down her body once and wished that she was wearing something else, something less revealing and less ... metal. It was one thing to wear armour around the men she had grown up with. It was quite another thing to be meeting with men of political power.

“My son Thomas asked after you,” Howe said after a moment. “Perhaps I should bring him with me next time.”

“To what end?” she asked, even though it was obvious. It had been a possibility she had expected for years, though certainly now was not the time to discuss it. Besides, if things went as planned well then ... 

“Ha, to what end she says,” Howe replied, shaking his head. “So glib too. She is just like her mother when she talks like that.”

Father laughed as well. “See what I contend with, Howe? There is no telling my fierce girl anything these days. Maker bless her heart.”

“Hmm. No doubt because you've trained her as a warrior. How ... unique.” There was something about the tone of his voice at the end that made Elissa look at Arl Howe very carefully. But then her father was speaking again and she turned her attention back to him.

“At any rate, Pup, I've summoned you for a reason,” Bryce told her. “While your brother and I are both away, I'm leaving you in charge of the castle.”

Elissa nodded. While most would assume that her mother would be given this honour, it was something she had anticipated, after some things that had been said along the journey here. She knew it was a great opportunity to learn, as well as to be seen in a role of true responsibility and power. “I'll do my best, Father.” 

Bryce smiled. “Now that's what I like to hear. Only a token force is remaining here and you must keep peace in the region. You know what they say about mice when the cat is away, yes?”

“I do, Father, though I doubt there will be any problems, as the people of Highever do hold you in such a high regard.”

“Be that as it may, it never hurts to be prepared. Anyway, there's also someone you must meet.” Bryce turned to one of his men standing nearby. “Please, show Duncan in.”

Elissa watched the man leave carefully, her interest stirred. She had never before heard Father speak of any man by that name. When the door to the hall next opened, it was the stranger from before, the dark-skinned Riviani. As he neared, she was able to get a better look at him. He was quite tall and muscular and dressed in some of the finest armour she had seen outside of the royal armoury. His hair was greying slightly at the temple but it suited him and his bearing, which was almost noble though she knew he could not be.

Duncan came to stand before them and bowed slightly. “It is an honour to be a guest in your hall, Teyrn Cousland.”

Howe seemed to be just as surprised by the man's presence. “Your Lordship, you didn't mention that a Grey Warden would be present.”

A Grey Warden. Well, that did begin to explain it. And yes, Elissa did recall that Cailan had mentioned a Duncan who was the Warden-Commander of Ferelden. Obviously this must be he.

“Duncan arrived just recently, unannounced,” Bryce explained. “Is there a problem?”

“Oh no, of course not,” Howe replied, though the heightened colour of his face suggested otherwise. “But a guest of such stature demands certain protocol. I am at a disadvantage.”

Bryce did not seem to notice “We rarely have the pleasure of meeting one in person, that's true. Pup, Duncan is looking for recruits before joining us and his fellow Wardens in the South. I believe he's got his eye on Ser Gilmore, especially after he acquitted himself so well in this morning's tourney.”

“Ser Gilmore is an excellent swordsman and honourable man,” Elissa said to Duncan. “And while I would be very sad to see him leave Highever's service, I cannot help but recommend him.”

Duncan nodded slowly and looked as though he would speak, then stopped. “If I might be so bold,” he said after a moment, “I would suggest that your daughter is also an excellent candidate.”

Immediately Bryce moved to stand between Duncan and his daughter, while Elissa stood completely in shock and not worried in the least about hiding it. Surely Duncan could not be serious, surely he knew about her relationship with the King and all that status entailed. Her become a Grey Warden? The idea was completely ludicrous.

Clearly her father agreed, as he said to Duncan, “Honour though that might be, this is my daughter we're talking about.”

Elissa took a breath, Bryce's words snapping her out of her shock. “I've no interest in becoming a Grey Warden,” she told him.

“Do you hear that, Duncan? My daughter is not interested. So unless you intend to invoke the Rite of Conscription ...” Bryce's voice trailed off as he shifted, widening his stance ever so slightly.”

Duncan shook his head and held out his hands, palms up. “Have no fear. While we need as many good recruits as we can find, I've no intention of forcing the issue.”

She could see her father's shoulders relax at Duncan's words. Moments later he took a step back, though he was still closer to her than he had been before. “Pup, can you ensure that Duncan's requests are seen to while I am gone?”

“Of course,” Elissa replied, still trying to calm the sudden racing of her heart. She forced herself to look levelly into Duncan's eyes. “Please, sir, let me know if there is anything that you require.”

“I will, my lady,” Duncan replied, meeting her gaze calmly and with an air of appraisal, just like before during the tournament. 

Elissa found herself turning away first, something she never did. “If that is all, Father, then I believe I shall retire for the evening.” 

“Of course, Pup. Goodnight and sweet dreams.”

She walked over towards Bryce and kissed him on his cheek, on her favourite spot just above his beard. “Goodnight,” she whispered. After nodding to both Arl Howe and Duncan, she left the hall and headed for her chambers.

She passed Fergus' rooms along the way and she pressed her ear to the door for just a moment. Inside, she could hear her brother talking to Oren and so, after lingering for another moment, she walked on, not wanting to disturb them. She would have time to speak with him in the morning, before he left. Her chest tightened slightly, thinking about his departure and her father's a few days later and said a quick prayer that they would both be safe.

When she got to her bedroom the first thing she did was change out of her armour, placing it carefully back in its cabinet. She sat down at her desk, dressed on in her shift and underclothes, and began to write a letter which she would send with Fergus, to give to the King. After all, it would do her no good for him to forget her amidst the glory of his war.

_To my dearest King and Lord,_

_I trust that my brother will deliver this letter faithfully into your keeping. He has always been very good and dear to me and I trust him in Your Grace's keeping knowing you will watch over him as dearly as Andraste._

_I must start with saying how much I have missed you during our separation. It seems impossible to realize how many days I have gone now without seeing your face or hearing your voice. I_

Elissa paused, wondering just how far she should go. It was always so difficult to decide. She placed the pen down for a moment and sat there, considering each option and carefully weighing them. Finally, with a determined nod, she continued.

_find myself thinking of you constantly and longing to be with you and to touch you and kiss you. But of course I know that the best way for to serve you in these times is to pray for your success, and so your name is on my lips each time I pray. I know that you shall vanquish any foes who are foolish enough to appear before you, just like the heroes of legend._

_I had the chance today to meet Duncan, the Warden-Commander you have spoken so highly of. He is quite an interesting man and so I can see why you admire him so. He is here to recruit new Wardens. He even suggested that I could become one of them, can you imagine it? Of course, it would give me the chance to be at your side once more and because of that I cannot say it is entirely unappealing. Still, I fear I may not be as amenable to you if I were bearing arms._

_It is growing late and I must retire to my bed, with hopes of seeing you in the Fade once more. And so until we meet again in the halls of the palace, I must bid you adieu._

_As always, your most humble and loyal of servants,  
E_


	5. The Last of Her Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a comment on the last chapter which contained a worry that I had abandoned this story. I just wanted to take a moment to let people know that this is definitely not the case. I fully intend to see this thing through until the very end. Overall, I am hoping to post at least one chapter a month. Originally I wanted to do more but I've ended up busier than expected, plus I must admit that I am easily distracted. But this work is my main fan fiction focus so, even while I work on other things (mostly all DA-related), I am never forgetting about this one.
> 
> Also, I would like to send some thanks to Revan657 over on Youtube for the walkthroughs which helped write the chapters covering the Origin, since they were very valuable resources for me.

Sleep eluded Elissa for most of the night before her father was to leave. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw him torn and bloody on the battlefield, her brother's body lying beside him ... and her King's. It has been this way for several days now, ever since Fergus and his men rode out. Before then, the war had been a legend in the making, a tale of Good King Cailan and his flawless victory. She remembered feeling so sure that everything would be just fine, because Cailan said so. Now however, she couldn't help but see it as the possible ruin of everything and everyone.

These dark thoughts and visions continued to haunt her but she must have eventually drifted off – from sheer exhaustion if nothing else – only to be jolted awake by sudden noise. Barkspawn was standing by the door, snarling and trying to get out. 

“What is it, boy?” she asked, forcing her body to get out of bed. “Did you see another giant rat?” She walked over to the door and was about to open it when something stopped her. She heard footsteps out there ... footsteps, low voices, and the clanging of armour. Something had happened, something wrong.

Her heart pounding, Elissa rushed to get her own armour on, thanking the Maker that it and her bow were back in good repair. In between breaths and beats, her mind raced, trying desperately to make sense of what was happening. Had the darkspawn gotten to Highever? It seemed impossible but it seemed the only possibility. She pulled an arrow from her quiver and notched it before slowly approaching the doorway. There was only one way to find answers now. 

She opened the door.

The sight that greeted her was not of darkspawn but of men, armoured men whose faces she did not recognize. One of them turned towards her, noticing the movement, and was greeted with an arrow through his throat, an arrow Elissa barely realized she had fired. At the man's dying scream, his fellows also turned and charged towards her, blood-stained weapons raised. Elissa fired arrows as quickly as she could, while Barkspawn took care of any men whom she missed. It was chaos and then ... it was over.

She took one small step out, then another, with Barkspawn close at her side. All the soldiers she could see lay on the floor, dead by her hand. She shook her head slightly – couldn't think about that now, she had to go, to move, to act. To survive.

Elissa crept further into the hallway, stepping carefully around the bodies and growing puddles of blood, heading towards her brother's rooms on the other side. She had made it about six feet from the door when she heard footsteps and spun around, raising her bow once again.

“It's me, darling,” a hushed voice said and Elissa relaxed as her mother came into view. Eleanor was also wearing full armour, her own bow in hand. “I heard fighting and I feared the worst. Are you hurt?”

She shook her head. “I was about to ask you that.”

“I'm fine,” Eleanor said as she turned back to look the way she had come. “There were men in the hall so I barred the door. Did you see their shields? Those are Howe's men. Why would they attack us?”

Elissa blinked and forced herself to really look at the bodies for the first time. There it was, underneath the gore: Howe's crest. She'd never even noticed it. “I don't know, Mother,” she managed to say, “but we need to get out of here.”

Eleanor didn't seem to even hear her. “You don't think Howe's men were delayed ... on purpose?” 

“Mother ...”

“Damn it, that bastard,” Eleanor swore, before kicking one of the soldiers. “I'll cut his lying throat myself.” 

“Mother, we have to go!” Elissa cried out, unable to keep the desperation out of her voice.

Eleanor looked over at her and just stared for a moment, before recollecting herself. “Of course. Have you seen your father? He never came to bed.”

“No, I haven't,” Elissa told her. “I was sleeping in my room, when Barkspawn woke me.”

“Thank the Maker for him,” Eleanor said, reaching out to rest her hand on the mabari's head. “We must go and find Bryce.”

“I agree,” Elissa said, “we need him with us. But before that we should check on Oriana and Oren.”

“Andraste's mercy,” Eleanor gasped, her face going white, “what if the soldiers went into your brother's rooms first? Let's check on them quickly, then we'll look for Bryce downstairs.” Eleanor led the way towards Fergus' chambers, Elissa right behind her. 

As they drew close, she could see that the door was slightly open and there was light coming from within. Light but not a single sound. Her mother reached forward and gave the door a gentle push. On the other side, two figures lay on the ground, deathly still and covered in blood.

“No!” Eleanor cried out, running towards them. “No ... my little Oren.” She ran her fingers along Oren's cheek, shaking her head slowly, before reaching up and closing his eyes. She then turned and did the same for Oriana, murmuring a quick prayer for their souls. Elissa stood over them, unable to think or feel or do anything but watch, one hand resting heavily on her mabari's shoulder.

Eleanor stood up slowly. Her face was hard but Elissa could see everything that was suppressed in her mother's eyes. “What manner of fiends slaughters innocents?” she asked.

“I'll make them pay,” Elissa heard herself saying and she knew she meant every word.

Eleanor was still shaking her head and Elissa could see her mother's arms shaking as well. “Howe's not even taking hostages. He means to kill all of us. Oh, poor Fergus ... let's go, I don't want to see this.  
They hurried from the room, Eleanor again in the lead. As they left, Elissa pulled the door shut, keeping the horror inside, safe and away for whatever else she would have to face before the night was over.

It wasn't long before they were set upon by even more soldiers and once more the sounds of violence erupted. At one point, Elissa looked down and realized she was bleeding but had no memory of when or why or how. It didn't matter anyway and so she looked away, seeking her next target. And the next. And the next.

By the end, somehow, it was her, Eleanor, and the hound that remained. If she believed in miracles, she would have called it that, but any faith she'd had lay scattered amidst the bodies.

All three of them ran through the hallways, past more dead or dying soldiers, many of whom bore faces far too familiar. Elissa kept moving but tried her best to take a moment and remember, now and forever. Sometimes it took a moment to conjure up the right name but she made sure to try. They deserved that much and more.

When they reached the main hall, she heard a voice that she could recognize immediately. “Go, man the gates,” Ser Gilmore called out. “Keep those bastards out as long as you can.”

When he turned and saw her and Eleanor, relief washed over his face. “Your Ladyship, my lady, you're both alive! I was certain Howe's men had gotten through.”

Elissa shook her head. “They _did_ get through.” 

“Maker no, did they ...” his voice trailed off as he looked into her eyes. “When I realized what was happening, it was all I could do to shut the gates. But they won't keep Howe's men out long. You need to get to safety, as fast as you can."

“We need to find Bryce,” Eleanor told him. “Have you see him?”

“I have,” Ser Gilmore said. “When I last saw the Teyrn, he'd been badly wounded. I urged him not to go but he was determined to find you. He went towards the kitchen. I believe he thought to find you at the servant's exit near the larder.”

“Then we must go, immediately,” Eleanor said, taking a few steps in that direction.

Elissa didn't follow, instead standing before Ser Gilmore. “Come with us,” she said softly.

His eyes were filled with sorrow. “My lady, you know I cannot. It is my duty to protect this keep, to protect you. I cannot leave my post now.”

She wanted to argue or order him away but knew it would only be in vain. She reached forward, taking his hand in hers. “Rory...”

He squeezed her hand. “Maker watch over you, Elissa,” he said, before letting go and turning to run towards the gate, which even now was under assault and splintering before the attack.

“Darling, we have to go, now.”

Elissa did as her mother ordered. As they ran, she turned back, trying to spot Ser Gilmore again but, with all the chaos around her, she could not make out his form. 

Barkspawn gave a short yip and Elissa realized she was being left behind. She focused her thoughts back to her father in less than a moment and quickened her pace, catching up to her mother just as Eleanor reached the door to the larder. In the distance, she could still here the sound of Howe's men trying to break through.

At first when the door opened, it seemed as though the room was deserted, filled with only darkness and dust. And then she heard laboured breathing and a low groan. “Father?” she called out as Eleanor stepped further into the room. As her eyes adjusted, she finally saw him lying on the ground. At first he was immobile but then, thankfully, he moved to look up at them.

“There you both are,” he said, his voice hardly more than a whisper. “I was ...”

“Bryce!” Eleanor cried out, running to kneel by his side.

“... wondering when you would get here,” he finished, before lying his head on his wife's lap.

“Maker's blood,” Eleanor cried out, “what happened?”

It was a moment before Bryce was able to answer. “Howe's men ... found me first. Almost did me in right there.”

Elissa moved forward, leaving Barkspawn to guard the closed door. “Why is Howe doing this?” she asked. “I thought he was your friend.”

Bryce tried to face her but failed. “I don't know, sweetheart ... I just don't.”

She knelt down beside her mother, reaching for his hand. “We need to get out of here.”

He shook his head slightly. “I won't survive standing, I think.”

“Then we will stay and defend you. We can save you.”

“Ah, my darling girl,” he muttered, running a finger along inside her wrist. “If only will could make it so.”

Before she could answer, there was another bang, louder than before. Eleanor looked back towards the door. “Once Howe's men break through the gate, they will find us. We must go. We can flee together, find you healing magic.”

“No, love, you will have to go without me,” Bryce told her, “The castle is surrounded. I cannot make it.”

“Bryce, we cannot-”

Barkspawn growled suddenly and Elissa spun up onto her feet just in time to see the door open. She reached for her bow and soon had an arrow pointed right at the intruder. It was the Grey Warden, Duncan. He quickly lowered his blades, which was enough to avoid the mabari's attack but not enough to make her trust him – there was no telling what side he would be on.

At the sight of her, he raised his hands. “I mean you no harm, but I'm afraid the Teyrn is correct. Howe's men have not yet discovered this exit but they surround the castle. Getting past will be difficult.”

“Are you going to help us?” Elissa asked, slowly putting away her weapon.

Duncan nodded. “If I can.” 

“Duncan,” Bryce gasped, his voice louder than before and more desperate, “I beg you, take my wife and daughter to safety.”

“I will, your Lordship.”

“No,” Elissa said. “Father, I will not leave you.”

“Someone must reach Fergus, tell him what has happened,” Bryce told her. “Tell everyone. Howe thinks he'll use the chaos to advance himself. Make him wrong, Pup. See that justice is done.”

“I ...” Elissa's voice trailed off as she remembered seeing Oren on the floor. Only a few nights before, Fergus had kissed him farewell and now there would never be another hello. She closed her eyes tight, forcing away her tears, before nodding. “I will, Father.”

Duncan stepped closer. “My lord, though I will do this, I fear I must ask you for something in return.”

“Anything.”

Duncan came to stand beside them, going down on one knee to be closer to the Teyrn. “What is happening here pales in comparison to the evil now loose in this world. I came to your castle seeking a recruit. The Darkspawn threat demands that I leave with one.”

Bryce swallow hard. “I ... I understand.”

“Very well,” Duncan agreed. “I will take the Teyrna and your daughter to Ostagar, to the King what happened. Then your daughter joins the Grey Wardens.”

“So long as justice comes to Howe, I agree.”

Duncan turned to Elissa. “Then I offer you a place within the Grey Wardens. Fight with us.”

There was another loud bang, worse than any before. There was no time for anything but decision. “Will I able to fulfil my duty of taking vengeance on Howe?”

“We will inform the King and he will punish Howe,” Duncan told her. “But that is all. A Grey Warden's duties take precedence even over vengeance.”

She turned to her father. “Our family always does our duty first,” he said, finding the strength to sound more like himself. “The darkspawn must be defeated. You must go, for your own sake and for Ferelden's.”

“I will, Father, for you.”

“We must leave quickly then,” Duncan told her.

“Bryce,” Eleanor said, breaking her silence, “are you ... sure?”

“Our daughter will not die of Howe's treachery,” he whispered, gasping again. “She will live and make her mark on the world.”

Eleanor nodded once then looked over at Elissa, her face grave and determined. “Darling, you go alone with Duncan. You have a better chance to escape without me.”

“Eleanor ...”

“Hush, Bryce,” she told him, “I'll kill every bastard who comes through that door to buy them time. But I won't abandon you.”

They stared at each other for a moment until finally Bryce nodded and turned back towards Elissa. “Then go, Pup. Warn your brother.”

One more loud, long crash and then all she could hear was more yelling and screaming and dying.

“They've broken through the gates,” Duncan told her. “We must go, now.”

“Goodbye, darling,” her mother whispered.

“Go,” her father said.

Elissa turned and did the only she could now. She ran.


	6. The Long Road to Ostagar

It was cold, so cold. Elissa pulled her cloak tighter around her body and still, she felt frozen inside and out. The mist that appeared when she breathed out confirmed that it wasn't all in her head but she still suspected it was just as much mental as physical. After everything, how could it not be?

She glanced over to where Duncan sat, sharpening his blades. Once he was done, she knew that they would be moving on again. After three days on the road, she'd learned the patterns. Or was it four days now? She'd lost track at some point; there hadn't been much time for thinking about anything other than running, with eating occasionally thrown in as well. And sleeping, at least in theory, but Elissa hadn't done much of that. Her nightmares about war had been terrifying even before she knew what true horror was. She didn't want to face what her subconscious could spew forth now.

“... alright?”

She blinked and realized Duncan was speaking to her. And that she was staring at him.

“It's fine,” she told him, shaking her head. “Don't worry. I'm fine.”

He didn't look convinced but he also didn't press the issue either, instead turning attention back to his weaponry. Elissa turned her head to look elsewhere. As she did, Barkspawn sidled up to her, pressing his body against her. 

“Good boy,” she whispered, burying her fingers in his fur. “You are the best dog in the world, the only-” She swallowed her words hard, blinking. There was no time for that. No time for anything. No time.

“Elissa, we should be off.”

She stood up slowly, wincing as she put pressure on her bruised and blistered feet. “I'm ready.”

As they ran, Elissa focused on the weight of her armour and the burn of her muscles, though she was beginning to get accustomed to both. When her mind drifted, she did her best to try and determine just where in the Bannorn they were now and who ruled it. And when even that failed as a distraction, she bit down on her lip, hard enough at times to draw blood. Better to feel physical pain than face any other. She knew she would have to deal with eventually but just... not now.

They mostly travelled near the road though not on it, as there was no telling what Arl Howe would do once he realized she had slipped his trap. Along the way they passed several small towns and villages – places she had never heard of before, places that barely ranked a dot on a map – and Duncan would enter them alone, seeking information and supplies. While he was gone, Elissa would stay out of sight and count the people who passed on the road or the birds that flew through the trees or the moments it took before he finally came back.

This pattern had happened several times before Duncan finally decided it was safe enough to make what he deemed a proper camp. The first real fire of the trip was the his first priority and he swiftly had it blazing. Elissa sat down beside it, Barkspawn curled up at her feet, and watched Duncan go about his business. It was only after both tents had been pitched that it occurred to her that she might have helped. 

Duncan walked over towards her, bringing with him their meagre food supplies. “I am afraid heating the rations does not make them much more tolerable,” he said as he passed her some dried meat skewered on a stick. “But even a little improvement is something.”

She nodded slightly and held the stick over the flames, carefully studying the methods he used and doing her best to duplicate them. In the end, the extra cooking turned out to be a great difference; she hadn’t realized how much she longed for a warm meal.

“Elissa,” Duncan said after they had both finished eating, “I know that in many ways I am still a stranger but if you do wish to talk, about anything you desire, I hope you know I am always willing to listen.”

She turned and met his eye, trying to muster up a smile and failing. “I know, thank you. But I just don’t know what to say.”

“I understand,” Duncan replied, before throwing a bit of scrap meat to the mabari. 

A gust of wind whipped through the air, making the flames dance and tugging at Elissa’s hair. She reached up and winced at the feel of dirt and sweat and grease. She knew she did not make a pretty picture right now.

“I was born in Highever,” Duncan said suddenly. Elissa turned to see him staring deep into the fire. “My father grew up in a farm not too far outside the city. But he was the third son and so eventually had to go out and make a name for himself. He met my mother when she came to the city with a merchant caravan. It was love at first sight.”

Duncan paused, perhaps to give her time to speak but Elissa had nothing to say. All she wished to do was listen.

“I do not remember much of my early years in Ferelden,” he continued. “I was very young when the decision was made to relocate to Orlais. Even to this day, I do not know why we left. Likely it had to do with more opportunities for trade but for any man from Ferelden to choose to live in the nation that had conquered them … no, I do not understand how it happened. It is one of the many things I wish I could ask my father now.”

She reached down to bury her hands in Barkspawn’s fur, as a sudden premonition about where this tale was going hit her.

“There was an outbreak of plague,” he continued, still watching the flames. “My father caught it first and then my mother. Within two weeks, they were both dead.”

Elissa let out the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Thank you,” Duncan told her. “It was a long time ago but it is a scar I still carry everyday.”

She nodded and bowed her head, closing her eyes to shut out all but his words, a few stray tears finally allowed to make their way across her cheeks.

“While every circumstance is different,” he said, “I do know how loss feels and I know how hard it can be to live with. I also know that the life of a Grey Warden was not one you would have chosen in any other circumstance. It will be difficult, especially now, and there is a good chance you will be called upon to see and do more challenging things than you can imagine. But I hope that, like me, you will find a sense of purpose greater than you have ever known before. It will never be enough to completely heal the wounds you bear, but it can give everything greater meaning.”

A small shudder passed through Elissa's body. She clenched her fists tightly, nails pressing into skin. And then she opened her eyes again and looked up, facing Duncan's gaze straight on.

“Thank you.”

Duncan nodded. “You should get some rest. Even if you cannot sleep, your body needs time to recover its strength. Tomorrow, we should be arriving in Lothering and, after that, it will not be too much longer until Ostagar.”

Lothering. That name she knew. “My brother will have come through here,” she said. “I can come with you and ask if anyone has seen him.”

“Yes,” he agreed, “you can. But first, rest.”

Slowly she stood up and headed towards the tent. Once inside, she slowly began to take off her armour, the first time everything had come off. She was glad for the darkness as it hid the signs the toil had taken on her body. That was yet another thing she was not ready to think about. 

As she lay down on the bedroll, Barkspawn crawling in beside her, she thought again about what Duncan had said, his words repeating in her head. Eventually her eyes got heavy and closed and then, for the first time since her parents had died, she slept without terrors.

When Elissa's eyes opened next, the sun was already out. As she sat up and stretched the sleep away, she realized that Duncan had never woken her to take a turn at the watch. More guilt took up its place within the sea of her emotions as she quickly dressed and headed out to see what could be done. 

They ate quickly and then set themselves to taking down the camp, Duncan taking great care to erase all evidence that they had been there. Once he was satisfied, they walked out towards the road, walking on it for the first time. 

They had not been walking long before the city of Lothering came into sight. Well, perhaps city was too grand a word for it, Elissa thought as they drew closer. There was none of the grandeur here that she was used to, not even a shred of the beauty of Highever or Denerim. In better times, she would not have come within miles of this place. Mother would be –

And there, in the middle of the city, was the Chantry, the one building of any consequence. “I will speak with the sisters,” she told Duncan. “Perhaps they will have news of Fergus.”

“You can do that, my lady, but be careful,” Duncan warned her. “There is always a possibility that Howe's men have arrived here. They have better resources than we do and much more at risk.”

She reached back, trailing a finger along her bow. “They will be risking even more if they run into me.”

For a moment it looked like he may try and dissuade her but instead Duncan just shook his head and turned away. “You will have to leave your mabari here. We do not want to draw too much attention to ourselves.”

“Very well.” She turned to Barkspawn. “You need to stay out of sight, boy. I'll call you when we're done” The dog whined but Elissa knew he would not disobey. “We're ready,” she said to Duncan.

Elissa headed immediately towards her destination, barely allowing herself to see anything other than the Chantry walls. The closer she got, the more familiar details she could make out. The same symbols, the same colours, the same chanter's board. It had been too long since she felt like she belonged somewhere.

“Can I help you, child?” asked one of the older sisters, who stood by the doorway. 

“Yes,” Elissa said, managing a smile. “I was wondering if you might have any news of my brother. He is... travelling with a group of men from Highever, to join with the King's army at Ostagar. I have news from home that I must tell him as soon as I can.”

If the woman doubted her story, she did not show it. She did however shake her head. “I'm sorry but there have been no men from Highever here. In fact, you are not the first to come looking for them. There have been many asking why Teyrn Cousland has not sent any troops.”

“Not sent any...” Elissa repeated in growing dread and outrage, her response too quick for her to stop. “That's impossible.”

The woman laid a hand gently on her shoulder. “I wish I could help you, dear. Maker willing, your brother is safe and well but these are troubled times. It may be best to start preparing for an answer you will not like.”

Elissa shook her head. “No. No, I cannot lose him, not now. Is there someone else here I can ask? Perhaps they will have heard something you have not.”

“You can try,” the woman said, gesturing towards the door. “But I do not expect that you will hear anything more than I have already told you.”

She pushed past the sister and opened the door. Inside there were a multitude of people: sisters, Templars, and other citizens. She asked many if they knew of the Highever soldiers, even directly mentioning Fergus' name at times. Always she received the same answer: they had not been here. No one knew where they were.

Eventually she found herself standing near the doorway to the gardens, staring outside into another familiar world of flowers and beauty. A young sister was out there, a beautiful woman whose hair was almost as red as the roses she tended. Elissa found herself wishing to go out into the garden, to pretend for just a moment that she was somewhere safe and whole. She only just managed to hold herself back.

A flash of light attracted her attention and she looked towards the door to see Duncan enter, seeking her in the crowd. He spotted her quickly and she met his eyes and nodded, walking towards him. 

“No one here knows anything,” she said to him quietly.

“Then we should be off. If we leave now, we should be able to reach Ostagar by tomorrow afternoon.”

Ostagar. Cailan.

_Justice._

“Let's go.”


	7. The King and I

The ruins of Ostagar were immense and no doubt beautiful but Elissa barely spared them a glance beyond determining where her feet should tread. This was especially true as they neared the camp and a gleam of gold caught her eye. She had seen Cailan wear that armour many times and knew that he was waiting for them. Or at least he was waiting for the Commander of the Grey Wardens.

As they neared the bridge that would carry them to the main encampment, she turned to Duncan. “Does he know we are coming?” she asked.

“I sent word to the King and the Wardens that I would be returning with a new recruit but I did not reveal your identity,” he told her. “I did not want to risk compromising our safety … and I know that it is not my story to tell.”

Elissa nodded, grateful as always for his discretion. They continued to walk across the bridge with Barkspawn at her side and her gaze fixed on the King who stood waiting for them. She could see now that he wore King Maric's sword on his back, the shining blade of many a song. As they neared the middle, she saw Cailan take a few steps forward and then a few more. Soon he was striding towards them and she knew he’d recognized her.

Part of her wanted to run to him, to lay out her story before him and allow him to set all things right. But she didn't. She kept walking steadily until finally she stood before him and bowed. Beside her, Duncan did the same, while Barkspawn watched on impassively

“Elissa, darling, what are you doing here?” Cailan asked.

She'd been preparing for this moment ever since she fled the castle but suddenly all the words seemed to fly from her head and she had no answers.

“Your Majesty, I am afraid Lady Cousland is not here of her own volition,” Duncan said, filling the silence.

Cailan frowned. “What do you mean?”

Elissa pictured her father's face, squared her shoulders, and found the ability to speak once more. “My parents have been murdered by Rendon Howe, Your Majesty. His men would have killed me too, had Duncan not helped me escape.”

Cailan stared at her for a moment and she saw something in his face that she'd never seen before. But only for a moment and then everything was shock and fury.

“I cannot believe he would do such a thing, that he would think for a moment that he would get away with it,” the King declared. He closed the distance between himself and Elissa and brought a hand up to rest on her shoulder, the golden gauntlet meeting her now battered and dirty breastplate. “I am so sorry, sweetheart. I promise you, he will not get away with this.”

“What will you do?” Elissa asked, staring into his blue eyes. “What will happen to him?”

“I'll see him hang.”

The wave of relief which washed over Elissa was staggering and she found herself stumbling to keep upright. But then Cailan's arms were around her and even though the world was spinning, it felt for the first time like things might someday be right again.

“Thank you,” she whispered, letting her head fall forward until helmet met breastplate with a quiet clang.

Cailan held her tighter but did not reply. A few moments later he shifted, turning attention back to Duncan. “I had hoped to greet you properly, Duncan, and discuss our plans for the battle, but I am afraid this news changes everything. Perhaps tomorrow morning we might be able to meet?”

“Of course, Your Majesty. The Grey Wardens are at your disposal, always.” Duncan began to walk away. After a moment, Barkspawn followed reluctantly, sensing that Elissa would not be needing or wanting him for the time being.

Elissa listened to Duncan's footsteps until the familiar sound had faded away. Only then did she take a deep breath and straighten her spine. Cailan was looking down at her, his face as serious as she had ever seen. He opened his mouth to speak but before he could she shook her head.

“Please don't,” she told him. “Not right now, at least.”

He nodded. “Very well. Will you at least let me bring you back to camp and take care of you?”

She actually managed a smile, the first in so long. “Yes, Your Majesty, you may do that.”

Cailan smiled back and turned, offering his arm. She took it and they walked across the bridge, towards the bustling camp. Everywhere she looked, there were men and women, some in armour, others not. She even unexpectedly spotted a number of mages – Cailan must have requested their aid as well.

There was so much to look at but eventually her eyes were drawn to the largest and grandest tent of them all, the one they were heading towards. The guards and servants all bowed as their king walked past but as they did, their eyes all strayed towards her. She remembered enjoying that feeling once and wondered at how so much could have changed in so little time.

Mercifully, Cailan ordered a bath to be drawn and somehow a tub filled with warm water appeared not too long afterwards. For a moment she did wonder about how exactly this had been managed, but every thought in the world fled as she stepped in and let warmth envelope her body.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been in the water when she sensed more than heard Cailan's presence. Her eyes fluttered open to see him sitting a couple of feet away, watching her, out of his armour now and wearing a simple shirt and breeches. “Do you feel better now?” he asked in a low voice.

“Yes, much,” she told him, looking down to see skin that was slightly wrinkled but mercifully clean. “Will you pass me that towel, Your Majesty?”

“Of course, my lady,” he said, passing it with even having to stand. Elissa almost laughed, until she saw the look in his eyes and almost shivered instead.

“Cailan ...”

He stood up and offer his hand. “Elissa, if you don't-”

She leaned over and pressed her lips against his. “I want this,” she whispered. “I need this, I need something normal.”

Cailan groaned with want and soon his arms were around her, pulling away the towel to give his fingers access to bared skin. Her own hands tangled up in his hair, as she closed her eyes and kissed him deeper, seeking solace and oblivion.

Bodies and moments began to blur together but eventually, somehow, Elissa found herself lying on a bed of furs with Cailan looming over her. Her legs were wrapped around his waist and she could feel him pressing against her, almost but not quite inside. Her breath was ragged as she reached up and gripped his shoulders, her fingers curled, nails digging in.

She cried out, louder than intended, when he finally entered her. She closed her eyes tight and clung to him, letting waves of every emotion in the world pass over her, building and building until she thought she might actually scream. 

She didn't, though only just barely. Instead her body collapsed down into the furs, still tingling with sensation and feeling completely loose, completely relaxed. Part of her was aware of Cailan collapsing beside her and kissing her gently, wishing her goodnight. Part of her realized this was the first time she would be literally sleeping with the King.

All of her decided it wasn't worth thinking about anymore and instead let sleep take hold again.

Elissa woke up early in the morning, jolted away by a half remembered dream. It took her a moment to remember where exactly she was and to whom the arm which lay over her belonged. She extricated herself from Cailan's grasp carefully and stood up, looking around for something to wear. She recalled that a robe had been brought to her last night, though she had never actually put it on. She headed for the next room and found it quickly, wrapping the garment around herself to keep the morning chill away.

She wandered back into the makeshift bedroom and stood beside Cailan for a moment, watching him. Part of her had always wondered what he looked like when he was sleeping. As is turned out, there wasn't all that much difference from when he was awake. He was a beautiful man, happy and somehow carefree. She wondered how he could do it.

The sound of approaching footsteps drew her attention away and, out of new habit, almost had her rushing for her weapon. But then she remembered herself and where she was and so had composed herself by the time the servant appeared before her.

“My lady,” he said with a quick bow, “I am sorry to disturb you so early but I have a letter for you from the Warden Commander.” 

She reached out and took the envelope he offered her. “Thank you,” she said. After a quick nod, the man left. Elissa sat down on the furs and opened the envelope, pulling out the letter inside.

“What does it say?”

She spun around with a small shriek at the sound of Cailan's voice. “Maker's breath,” she scolded, “you startled me.”

He only laughed. “I'm sorry, darling. What does Duncan write?”

“He says that we are ready to begin preparing for the Joining ceremony,” she told him, skimming the letter further as she did. “As soon as I am able, he wants me to go and find someone named Alistair, who is going to be overseeing the preparations.”

“Your first official order,” Cailan muttered. “And I'm sure you will do it well.”

Elissa sighed and stood. “You know I would not have chosen this path if I had any other option.”

Cailan looked up at her and nodded. “Yes but I know you will make the best of it and then some. You are quite a remarkable woman, Elissa.”

“Thank you.” She looked down at herself. “I suppose I should get back into my armour.”

“Yes,” Cailan agreed, “I'm the only one in this camp who gets the privilege of seeing you like this. Your armour should be in the back of the tent, alongside mine. I ordered it to be thoroughly cleaned and polished.”

“You are too kind, Your Majesty,” she said before walking back to find the armour which was indeed gleaming. When she walked back out, Cailan was dressed and sitting at a small desk. When she approached, she noticed that he carefully placed blank paper over the letter he had been reading.

“You look every bit a warrior, my lady,” he said, with a smile. “Ready to meet all challenges this day could throw at you.”

Elissa nodded, trying not to think of the fact that no challenge could match those she had already faced – and failing. “Have you met this Alistair?” she asked, suddenly needing a distraction fast.

“I have, actually,” Cailan replied, looking away. “He is... he seems like a very respectable young man. I think you will like him.”

She nodded again. “I should be off, I fear I have much to do today.”

Cailan stood up and pulled her close, kissing her deeply. “May Andraste watch over you,” he said as he released her.

“And you, Your Majesty,” she said before heading towards the tent flap and back out into the wild and crazy and cruel world.

Duncan's letter had said that she would most likely find Alistair around the northeastern part of the main camp. As she walked, she took in her surroundings even more than she had been able to the day before. The sounds of the camp were still so foreign to her, she wasn't sure she would ever get used to it. Or to taking orders, though so far she was doing fairly well with this first one as a Grey Warden – or rather a Grey Warden recruit. She would not be a full member until this ceremony was completed. Duncan had always been particularly vague about what exactly that Joining involved. Perhaps she would have more luck with Alistair.

As she approached the northeast corner of the ruins, she heard raised voices. Or rather, one man with a raised voice and another who was trying to answer the first's questions.

“What is it now? Haven't the Grey Wardens asked more than enough of the Circle?”

The Circle. As Elissa drew closer she was able to see the two men, one of whom was indeed a mage. The other was a young man in Warden armour, who had to be Alistair. He was young, like Cailan had said. There was also something about him that seemed... familiar.

“I simply came to deliver a message from the Revered Mother, ser mage,” Alistair said. “She desires your presence.”

The mage scowled. “What Her Reverence desires is of no concern to me. I am busy helping the Grey Wardens, by the King's orders I might add.”

“Should I have asked her to write a note?” Alistair asked and Elissa began to wonder at the King's definition of _very respectable_.

The mage looked equally unimpressed. “Tell her I will not be harassed in this manner.”

“Yes,” Alistair said, “I was harassing you by delivering a message.”

“Your glibness does you no credit.”

“Here I thought we were getting along so well. I was even going to name one of my children after you. The _grumpy_ one.”

The mage scowled even deeper. “Enough,” he said, “I will speak to the woman if I must. Get out of my way, fool.” He stormed past Alistair and only barely avoided running into Elissa. She turned slightly to watch him storm off. When she turned back, Alistair was standing in front of her. 

“You know,” he said, “one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together.”

“What?”

“Uh, nevermind,” Alistair stammered, colouring slightly. “Wait, we haven't met, have we? I don't suppose you happen to be another mage.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Do I look like mage to you?”

His face continued to redden. “No, I suppose not. Well, less being yelled at for me then, though the day is still young. Wait,” he looked at her closer, “I do know who you are. You're Duncan's new recruit, from Highever. I should have recognized you right away, I apologize.”

“My name is Elissa,” she said, having some pity on the man. While his respectability might be a bit on the questionable side, he was still her superior in rank. At least he was now.

Alistair beamed at her. “Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Alistair, the new Grey Warden. Though I guess you knew that. As the junior member of the order, I'll be accompanying you when you prepare for the Joining.”

She kept herself from adding that she already knew this as well, instead taking the opportunity to seek out the information she needed. “What can you tell me about this Joining?”

There was a shift in his face, quite obvious to anyone who knew what to look for. “Honestly, nothing,” he lied. “Uh... try not to worry about it. It will just distract you. 

She looked at him and smiled as sweetly as possible. “Surely you can tell me something.”

His face was quickly turning crimson again. “I... look, I can't tell you much, alright? The Joining is... I wish I could forget it but I can't. I don't envy what you're going to have to go through.”

“Fine,” Elissa said, resigning herself to the fact that she wasn't going to get anything out of him, at least not just yet.

They stood in silence for a moment, something which seemed to offend Alistair's sensibilities as he began to speak again. “You know,” he babbled, “it just occurred to me that there have never been many women in the Grey Wardens. I wonder why that is?”

“Probably because we're too smart for you,” she said, a tinge of annoyance evident in her voice.

“True,” Alistair said, apparently not noticing, “but if you're here what does that make you?”

Elissa closed her eyes and took a deep breath before giving her painful honest answer. “Incredibly unlucky.”

“Ouch,” he exclaimed. “Anyhow, whenever you're ready, let's get back to Duncan. I imagine he's eager to get things started.”

“You don't _have_ to accompany me, do you?” she asked, though she was not expecting a favourable answer.

Alistair only smiled. “Don't worry, I'll try not to embarrass you.”

Elissa shook her head slightly but started walking, knowing the only way that was likely to happen would be if her new companion learned how to keep his mouth shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Note:** Right now would be a good moment to give a shout out to another Cailan/Cousland fic set in Ostagar which I quite enjoy and which, while quite different in characterization, was one of the initial inspirations for me to write this fic. If you enjoyed this chapter, I definitely think you would enjoy reading this story as well: [In Loss, Freedom](http://archiveofourown.org/works/240499) by runsinthefamily.


	8. Into the Wilds

Alistair continued to prattle on as they walked through the camp, though Elissa was not actually listening to him at this point. At least not most of the time and when she did, it confirmed that she wasn't missing much. In the distance, she could see Duncan standing with two men, presumably the other recruits. It would be but a minute or two before they reached them and then -

Elissa froze in her steps as she suddenly caught sight of another man, this one whom she knew only too well.

“Teryn Loghain.”

It had been a long time since she has seen Loghain in full armour and she had to admit he made an impressive figure – and an imposing one as well. She'd grown up on stories of the Hero of River Dane. Even knowing the man and their many differences, it was hard to forget that childhood sense of awe and wonder, especially with the storybook figure standing before her in all his glory.

“Lady Elissa,” Loghain said, nodding stiffly in greeting. “I wanted to express my deepest condolences for the tragedy that has befallen your family. The King told me of his promise. I'm certain he has every intention of following it through.”

“Thank you, my lord,” she replied. “I have complete faith that His Majesty will make sure that justice is served.”

“Yes,” Loghain muttered, “justice ... And now you will become a Grey Warden. It is quite the tale. I'm sure Cailan will be telling it for some time; his fascination with the Wardens goes beyond the ordinary, as I'm sure you know.”

Elissa nodded. “Yes, he seems quite taken with the notion of riding into battle with the Wardens at his side.”

“Yes, quite the tale indeed,” Loghain said. “I will admit, the Wardens are impressive but they are not as relevant as Cailan thinks.” He paused for a moment, then frowned slightly. “I don't suppose you'll be riding into the thick of battle with the rest of your fellows, will you?”

“I don't know,” she admitted.

Loghain's mouth twisted into a shadow of a smile. “If Cailan has his way, maybe you will.”

Elissa couldn't think of any suitable reply to that – she was hardly sure what exactly the Teryn was getting at. And she was not entirely sure she wanted to know either.

“Well, I should return to my business and you to yours,” he said finally, turning to face Cailan's tent. “Pray our king proves amenable to wisdom, if you're the praying sort.” 

Loghain began to walk away. After a few paces, Elissa called out after him, “And if he doesn't?”

“Then simply pray,” he replied, without looking back.

Elissa stood there, watching him, for quite a while, until she heard a sound behind her and realized she'd forgotten entirely that Alistair was with her. She turned to him and saw too many questions in his eyes. 

“What was tha-”

“Let's move on,” she told him brusquely, before starting to walk again.

He followed after a moment, though she could feel his eyes on the back of her head, wondering about things a stranger had no right to wonder about. She did not owe him an explanation, nor would she offer one.

It was not much longer before they reached Duncan's tent. As they drew close, Elissa heard a familiar bark; however, much to her surprised, it was not to her that Barkspawn ran first but to her companion.

“Hello there,” Alistair said, reaching out to gently rest a hand on the mabari's head. “And who might you be?”

“His name is Barkspawn,” she told him. 

Alistair looked over at her and grinned. “What an excellent name. Did you pick it out yourself?”

“Yes,” Elissa replied with a sigh. “I was twelve and very proud of my own cleverness.” He chuckled, which only made her regret her twelve year old self's love of bad puns even more. “Look,” she said impatiently, “Duncan is waiting for us.”

Alistair immediately straightened up and squared his shoulders, like he was a squire trying to impress the knight he served. Actually, seemed to be exactly what he was or close enough. Not that it really mattered. They began to walk again and quickly closed the final distance, where Duncan and two other men stood.

“There you are,” Duncan said as he caught sight of them. “You found Alistair, did you? Good, I'll assume you are ready to begin preparations.” He paused, frowning. “Assuming, of course, that you're done riling up mages, Alistair.

Alistair raised his hands before him, palms up. “What can I say, the Revered Mother ambushed me. The way she wields guilt, they should stick her in the army.”

Duncan did not look amused. “She forced you to sass the mage, did she?” he asked. “We cannot afford to antagonize anyone, Alistair. We do not need to give anyone more ammunition against us.”

“You're right, Duncan,” Alistair said, looking crestfallen. “I apologize.”

Duncan only shook his head, then turned his attention back to Elissa and the other men. “Elissa, this is Jory, and Daveth. Together with Alistair, the three of you will be heading into the Korcari Wilds, to perform two tasks. The first is to obtain three vials of darkspawn blood, one for each of you.

“Go into the Wilds?” Jory exclaimed. “Isn't that dangerous?”

“You weren't recruited out of charity,” Duncan said to the man, though Elissa thought he glanced her way as well. “All three of you are skilled and resourceful. And Alistair, as the most junior member of our order, will accompany you, as is tradition. Do not worry; I doubt you will need to go far into the Wilds to find what you seek.”

“What do we need darkspawn blood for?” Elissa asked, hoping that perhaps something about this Joining would finally be revealed.

“For the Joining itself,” Duncan confirmed, though quickly added, “I'll explain more once you've returned.”

She was beginning to grow weary of all this secrecy. “Surely you could have acquired some blood before now,” she said.

Duncan looked at her, his expression stern, reminding her that there was no turning back now. “You must work together to collect the components. It's as much a part of the joining as what comes after.”

She nodded slightly. “And what's the second task?”

“There was once a Grey Warden archive in the Wilds, abandoned long ago when we could no longer afford to maintain such remote outposts. It has recently come to our attention that some scrolls have been left behind, magically sealed to protect them. Alistair, I want you to retrieve these scrolls if you can.”

“Is this part of the joining too?” Daveth asked, half a second before Elissa was going to do the same.

“No,” Duncan told them, “but the effort must be made. I have every confidence you are up to the task. It would be an overgrown ruin by now, but the sealed chest should remain intact. Alistair will guide you to the area you need to search.”

All three of them nodded, all questions asked – or at least, all questions asked that they thought Duncan might answer. The Warden-Commander turned back to Alistair and his expression softened slightly, “Watch over your charges, Alistair. Return quickly and safely.”

“We will,” Alistair replied, practically glowing at the attention. Perhaps this relationship was less squire-knight and more ... father-son. She could remember Father and Fergus and – she just barely managed to stop herself from thinking more.

“Then go,” Duncan told them all, “and may the Maker watch over your path.”

Alistair quickly led them towards a guarded gate which would let them enter the Wilds. The path took them close to Cailan's tent but Elissa could not spot the King anywhere. It was a pity too because she was beginning to really need to talk to him. Perhaps he could make Duncan release her from the Wardens because the more she learned about them, the less she was comfortable with. Dangerous missions, secret ceremonies – she knew she had promised herself to the Wardens at Highever but surely the duress she'd been under at the time would mean there were other options. And if anyone could help her, it would be Cailan. He had to see that this was a terrible idea.

Even if he did practically worship the ground the Grey Wardens stood on.

But there was no getting out of it now and so Elissa focused on the path ahead of them, keeping an eye on the forest as she watched for her first darkspawn. Her heart was pounding, almost the only thing she could hear. _Almos_ t. In front of her, Jory and Daveth were bickering about something. She didn't care what, she just knew there were being ridiculous and far too loud. Though since they did want to encounter darkspawn, maybe it was actually going to be useful. That said, she had nothing to add and so she didn't. They might all be recruits but these men were nothing like her for so many reasons, not the least of which was that they seemed to have actually willingly volunteered to be here.

She definitely would have to talk to Cailan as soon as she could.

There was a rustle in the bushes beside her and Elissa spun around, bow raised, as Barkspawn growled at her feet.

“Don't worry,” Alistair called back to her, “it's nothing.”

Sure enough, a moment later a very thin and very terrified rabbit popped into view and then, at the sight of the mabari, ran off in the opposite direction as fast as it could.

Slowly, she put her bow away. When she turned, she discovered that Alistair was now standing right beside her.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yes,” she told him. “How did you know it wasn't a darkspawn?”

They began to walk again before Alistair answered. “Grey Wardens can feel the darkspawn coming. You'll understand after the Joining, if you s-... well, you'll understand.”

Elissa glanced over at Alistair, who immediately looked away and hurried his steps, calling out to correct Jory's stance or something equally mundane. He was hiding something, no doubt about it, and it was something bad. She swallowed hard. She would definitely need to find Cailan the moment they returned to the camp.

They continued walking through the Wilds for another half mile at least – after so long on the road, Elissa had become quite skilled at judging distance, as well as being able to traverse it without becoming winded. They still hadn't seen any darkspawn and she was beginning to think that perhaps this really wasn't a true Blight after all. Maybe everyone was getting worked up over nothing.

She had just about convinced her of this when suddenly Barkspawn began to growl again. Moments later, she heard the sound of a sword being drawn and, pushing the encroaching horror she felt away, Elissa looked up and saw Alistair and the others preparing for a fight.

And then she saw it.

The creature – the darkspawn – was shorter than she expected. For some reason that was the first thing she noticed but it was far from the last. Its face, if you could call it that, was scrunched up and twisted, with sunken eyes that stared at her like she was a hunk of meat waiting to be eaten. It snarled as it walked forward, which gave her an even better chance to notice its long, sharp teeth, dripping with blood. There were traces of more blood along its armour and on the blade of the crude sword it carried.

As it advanced closer and closer, Elissa froze. She couldn't help it; she had never seen anything so terrible or terrifying. She wasn't sure how long she stood there but finally the sight of the others fighting, of Barkspawn standing before her, hair bristled and barking, made her realize she was in another battle for her life. And suddenly she was drawing her weapon and the arrows began to fly. 

The first darkspawn fell but another took its place and then another and another. It was just like before, like home, only somehow even worse. Or maybe better, since at least these enemies weren't human, weren't something that was supposed to be trustworthy and good. And finally, just like before, there were bodies scattered around her, many with her arrows sticking out of them. 

“Are you alright?”

She spun around with another arrow notched and found herself face to face with Alistair, her arrow's tip resting on his breastplate. She quickly lowered her weapon, tried to catch her breath, and eventually realized he'd said something.

“Sorry, what?” she muttered, finally able to take a careful look around. Jory and Daveth were both still standing and looked to be gathering the vials of darkspawn blood. 

“Are you alright?” Alistair repeated.

“Yes,” she told him. “Yes. Are you?”

He smiled. “It will take more than a few genlocks to take me down.”

She frowned. “Genlock?”

“That's the name for the type of darkspawn that attacked us.”

“You mean there's more than one type?” she asked, her eyes widening in horror.

He nodded. “Unfortunately, yes. These ones are actually the easiest to deal with.” 

She shook her head in silence, holding back her millions of questions that had answers she probably didn't want to know.

“Well then,” Alistair said, turning towards the others, “since we're all still in one piece, more or less, we should probably move out. We still need to find those scrolls.”

Somehow, Elissa managed to get her feet moving again. She was even able to retrieve a few arrows from the bodies, even though to do that she had to get much closer to them than she would have liked. And then they began to walk again. This time, she did not keep track of distances or how long it was taking or anything beyond putting one foot in front of the other.

“Look over there,” Daveth called out, pointing to the distance. Elissa followed the gesture and quickly spotted an old, ruined stone building. 

“That looks like it,” Alistair said as he started to walk in that direction, the rest of them close behind. 

Soon they were walking on the remnants of a stone floor, walking past columns that must have once been a sight to behold. It did not take long before they found a chest in the middle of ruins – or at least, the remains of a chest. Elissa reached it first and knelt down, carefully picking up the pieces and shifting them. There was no sign of any treaties.

“Well, well, what have we here?”


	9. Be Yours to Hold it High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how long it has been between updates. RL hit me hard recently and I haven't really been writing anything for the last two months or so. I'm hoping things have settled down now though and so I'll hopefully get back to posting at least one chapter a month.
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience!

The sun began to set before Elissa and the others were able to return to the camp. As darkness began to fall, she could not help but keep one hand tightly clenched around her bow and the other resting on Barkspawn's head, making sure he was still there by her side. The memory of the darkspawn they had fought – the sight, the stench – remained fresh in her mind. She had a feeling it would be a long time before those memories would pass.

And as if they alone were not enough to make her ill at ease, there was now even more to reflect on. She glanced over towards Alistair, who was holding the treaties tight against his chest as if he never planned to ever let them go. Though, after the strange circumstances that had brought the scrolls to them in the end, she supposed she couldn't blame him for that. She shivered slightly at the memory. There was something about Flemeth's eyes which made Elissa feel like the witch was looking into her very soul.

Alistair turned towards her and met her gaze. “That was ... something else, wasn't it?”

She turned away with a soft, irritated sigh. “Yes, I suppose you could say that,” she replied.

“Um ... Elissa,” he began, taking a step closer to her and speaking in a low voice, “did it seem to you like those two were paying particular attention to you and I?”

“You and me.”

“What?”

She looked back over at him. “You should said you and me, not you and I. And no, to answer your question, I did not notice any such thing.”

Alistair flushed before looking away quickly. Elissa felt a momentary pang of regret but she was too on edge to let it bother her for long. While she honestly couldn't say she had noticed either woman paying her any significant attention, that didn't mean she was comfortable under their cold, golden stares. Far from it. She could not remember ever feeling so unsettled before. Even the attack on Highever had at least been tangible in its horror, senseless as it had been.

She shivered and reached over to bury her hand in Barkspawn's fur, gripping tight enough that the mabari yelped softly, though he did not move away.

The group's relief was tangible when the camp finally came back into sight. It was all Elissa could do to not run towards the King's tent as fast as she could. As it was, she turned towards it immediately, ignoring the others who were heading to meet with Duncan again. She heard Alistair call her and then she even heard Duncan's voice saying her name, but she ignored it all.

This had to end now.

She could see signs of movement just inside Cailan's tent as she drew near it; a moment later and Loghain stood before her, though as his back was turned towards her he was unaware of her presence. She heard him mutter under his breath but she was not sure what he said, though she was certain she heard the name Maric. After a moment he spun around and froze when he spotted her. His lips were pressed tight against each other, in a most unforgiving expression she had ever seen, including the one she'd witnessed earlier that day on Flemeth's face.

They stood and watched each other silently for a moment and then, his mouth shifting into a scowl, Loghain brushed past her.

Elissa closed her eyes and took a steady breath, trying to rediscover a feeling of calm that she almost couldn't remember feeling before. She needed discipline now, she needed charm. She needed every weapon she had, short of her bow, to convince Cailan to get her out of this mess. After a moment, she opened her eyes and stepped into the tent.

Cailan sat on the bed. He had taken off his armour for the night but he still had his sword out, laying across his lap. As she approached him, she could see the soft, golden glow of the runes which marked the longsword.

“This was my father's sword,” Cailan said as he stared down at it.

“I know.”

He looked up at her and nodded, his face as serious as she had ever seen it. “I remember watching him practise with it when I was a boy. He was out in the yard almost every day, to keep in form. I asked him why he did that, when there weren't any more battles for him to fight. Do you know what he told me?”

“No, Your Majesty. What was his answer?”

“He said that you never know when you may be faced with a fight and have to defend yourself and those you love. And that this was especially true of the King, who had to love the entire kingdom.” His paused, his gaze looking past her now. “I always dreamt that one day, I would be able to be as strong as he was.”

Elissa sat down beside him, taking care not to disturb the blade. “Our parents had to fight for everything they had, for everything we have. It is a legacy we all seek to be worthy of.”

“Ah, well,” Cailan said, seeming to remember where he was once more, “we shall both have the chance to test that legacy and our own mettle soon enough.”

She nodded and looked down at her hands, gauntlets clasped tightly in her lap. She remembered her father and her mother and how they had fought until the bitter end. And now here she was, trying to shirk from fighting her own battle, ready to break a promise to the man to whom she owed her life. 

“But enough that, my darling Elissa,” the King said after a moment, sounding like himself again. “How was your mission out into the Wilds? Did you fight any darkspawn?”

“I did,” she said, shuddering slightly at the memory but not letting herself shy away from remembering. “It was terrible.”

“I'm sure you were very brave,” he said, leaning in to kiss her lightly on the lips. “And we shall both be brave on the morrow, when the real battle begins.”

Before she could reply, there was a noise near the entrance to the tent.

“Um, excuse me, Your Majesty? May I come in?”

A smile appeared on Cailan's face at the sound of a voice that was fast becoming familiar to Elissa. She frowned at the sight, for there was something ... peculiar about the expression, though she couldn't put a finger on what it was exactly. It was unnerving, to find the King was such a stranger tonight.

“Hello?”

“Of course, come right in, Alistair.”

Alistair came inside the tent, looking incredibly uncomfortable with his surroundings. His gaze passed over her quickly, focused squarely on the King. “Duncan asked me to come make sure that uh, Lady Elissa knew that we were ready to begin the Joining.”

Elissa stood up quickly. “It was hardly necessary that Duncan send you to come and retrieve me,” she told him, though she was more annoyed at how easily Duncan had read her mind's design. “I was just about to go find him.”

“Of course. Well, that's good then, makes my job easier.”

She shot him a glare, hoping he might take the hint and keep his mouth shut for a change. She was ashamed enough of her near betrayal without having Cailan know them as well.

Cailan however only laughed. “I hope Lady Elissa has not been too much of a handful for all of you Wardens.”

Alistair's face reddened slightly and he glanced nervously at Elissa and then back at Cailan. “Of course not, Your Majesty. The Wardens are trained to deal with darkspawn, surely a ...”

“If you will excuse us, Your Majesty,” Elissa said quickly, before the fool said any more, “we should not be keeping Duncan any longer.”

Cailan looked back and forth between the two of them and laughed again. “Of course. Even the King cannot get in the way of such important Warden business.”

Elissa curtsied as deeply as she could manage in her armour before turning to leave, walking right past Alistair. She was already a good ten feet from the tent when he finally caught up with her.

“I'm sorry if I said anything to offend you, Elissa.”

“You need not worry about it.”

“No, I do,” he said, his tone contrite enough that she stopped to face him. “I ... well, that is, the King and I, we- Sometimes I get nervous and a little carried away when it comes to stuff like talking or walking.”

“Of course,” Elissa told him, “many people are nervous before His Majesty, if they are not accustomed to it. I understand, Alistair, and when I say you do not have to worry about it, then you don't.”

“Oh. Good. Well, let's get going then. As you said, we should not keep Duncan any longer.”

She nodded and they resumed walking to the very edge of the camp, the place where the secret of the Joining ritual would finally become known.


	10. Into the Valley of Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many apologies for how long it's been between updates. I've had a lot going on IRL and it's made it difficult to find the time and energy for writing. I'll try to have the next part up a bit faster.

The world was darkness.

Elissa ran, even though she knew running was futile. It would find her, of that she was certain, even if the who or what _it_ was remained a mystery.

She stumbled suddenly. A man lay at her feet, making a terrible noise, and she knew that he was dying.

“Do not listen, Pup,” her father told her, “you are strong. You can face this.”

There was another man nearby, begging and pleading. “You ask too much. There is no glory in this!”

A hand stroked her cheek. “Elissa, my dear girl,” her mother said, “you carry the hopes of the both of us now.”

“No,” she told them, “please, do not ask this of me. I am afraid.”

“Elissa,” said yet another voice, that sounded like two. “Wake up. It's just a dream.”

She opened her eyes and immediately closed them, shielding herself against the light of a single flame that seemed to her as bright as the sun.

“Shhh, darling,” Cailan said, pulling her close, “you're safe.

“Cailan,” she gasped, her throat dry. “Thank Andraste, it was just ...”

“A nightmare,” he finished, stroking her hair slowly. “But it's over now.”

Elissa took a deep breath, leaning into his body even more. “I'm not sure if it will ever be over now,” she whispered, more to herself than to the king. Cailan frowned but didn't say anything, only holding her closer and pressing his lips against her temple. She took another breath, and then another, until finally her heart began to steady and she began to actually feel awake.

She pushed herself up into a seated position and faced him. “Thank you,” she murmured, before kissing him softly.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Cailan asked.

Elissa thought clearly about what she had seen, then shook her head. “No, I ... I can't.”

“Ah, then it has to do with this mysterious Joining ritual.”

She replied with silence and finally he shrugged. “I'll get it out of Duncan one day,” he told her. “When all of this is over.”

She smiled. “Good luck with that."

“Doubt all you want. I am the King and I will have my way,” he said, smiling back and in that moment, he was absolutely handsome and beautiful, more so than ever before. “And now,” he added, “do you think you'll be able to sleep again? We have a busy day ahead of us.”

“I know. That only makes it harder, knowing that tomorrow could –”

“You don't need to worry about tomorrow, Elissa,” he said, his voice firm. “I will do everything I can to make sure you and Alistair are safe.”

“Alistair?” she said, startled. “Why would you worry about him?”

Cailan didn't answer right away, instead getting back under the covers before looking at her with an unreadable expression. “Alistair is ... well, let's just say I see a lot of myself in him and so who better to protect you?”

Elissa had no response for that other than to shake her head in bewilderment as she settled down beside the king. His arm wrapped around her, pulling her close as she tried, with mixed success, to fall back to sleep.

*

It stormed all day, as if the sky itself realized that battle was drawing near. Elissa spent most of the day inside Cailan's tent, Barkspawn at her side, trying to rest as well as remember all she had heard about the battlefield. The more she remembered, the more she clung to Cailan's promise of protection.

As evening fell, she could hear the sound of armour being donned and quickly strapped hers on. Once she was ready, she went outside and headed for Duncan's tent. She was nearly there when she spotted Alistair heading towards her.

“There you are,” he said as he drew near. “I've been looking all over for you.”

“Well, here I am,” she replied, not answering the unasked question. If Alistair didn't already know where to look, that was his problem, not hers. “What do you need?”

“Duncan asked me to find you. Apparently the King wishes us to attend some sort of meeting.”

Elissa's heart gave a tiny leap as she realized this was it. “Then we should not keep his Majesty waiting. Lead on.”

Alistair frowned. “You aren't curious about why the King would ask for us?”

“No, I'm not,” she replied. “But if you wish to know why, then wouldn't the best way be to go and find out?”

He thought about it for a minute, then chuckled. “I suppose the lady is right. Let's go then.”

As they walked through the camp, Elissa could not help but look left and right, trying to spot anyone from Highever, perhaps even Fergus. It was disappointing, though not surprising, when she failed. If any of them had reached Ostagar, she would have been told. Not that she held out much hope that any of them lived, not anymore. It had been far too long without any signs.

“Are you looking for someone?”

She was startled enough by Alistair's question to answer without thought. “My brother.”

“Oh,” he said with a slow nod, “I see. I didn't know you had a brother.”

“I might not ... not any more.”

He stopped walking suddenly, looking at her when she eventually paused as well. When he remained oddly silent, Elissa found herself needing, and perhaps even wanting, to explain. “Before I came here, my home was attacked, all my family ... murdered. My brother and his men, though, they had already left, gone to fight by the King's side. Except they never arrived here. Maker knows what happened but it cannot have been good.”

Alistair's eyes were wide but somehow solemn. “I'm sorry,” he said softly.

“Thank you,” she told him. “Now, we should get to this meeting.”

They walked the rest of the way in silence, soon arriving at the meeting spot. The King was already there, and with him were Duncan and Teryn Loghain. Cailan's voice carried clearly as they drew close.

“Loghain, my decision is final! I will stand by the Grey Wardens in this assault.”

Loghain's hand hit the table before them with a clang. “You risk too much, Cailan! The darkspawn horde is too dangerous for you to be playing hero on the front lines.”

Elissa and Alistair came to stand beside Duncan, while the King and Teryn continued to argue, not seeming to notice the new arrivals.

“If that's the case,” Cailan said, “perhaps we should wait for the Orlesian forces to join us, after all.”

Elissa couldn't help but cringe at that. She knew Cailan had grown up with just as many stories about Orlais as she had. Given how many of those stories had also included Loghain, the Hero of River Dane, she couldn't imagine bringing an Orlesian army onto Ferelden soil would win any points now.

Loghain's voice was low when he replied. “I must repeat my protest to your fool notion that we need the Orlesians to defend ourselves.”

Cailan turned towards him, his face determined. “It is not a fool notion. Our arguments with the Orlesians are a thing of the past ... and you will remember who is king.”

Loghain turned away and was suddenly looking directly at Elissa. “How fortunate Maric did not live to see his son ready to hand Ferelden over to those who enslaved us for a century,” he said softly, eyes locked on hers.

 

 

Cailan also turned aside, looking for Duncan, and also noticed Elissa and Alistair's arrival. “Excellent, you're all here,” he said. “If we cannot wait, then our current forces will have to suffice. Duncan, are your men ready for battle?”

“They are, your Majesty,” Duncan confirmed.

“Excellent,” Cailan said, nodding. “With the Grey Wardens on the front line, battling the horde, then our victory is all but assured.”

Loghain scoffed. “Your fascination with glory and legends will be your undoing, Cailan. We must attend to reality.”

The King met her gaze and smiled, shaking his head. “Fine, speak your strategy. The Grey Wardens and I draw the darkspawn into charging our lines, and then?”

Loghain leaned over the table, where Elissa now saw a map of the battlefield lay. “You will alert the tower to light the beacon, signalling my men to charge from-”

“To flank the darkspawn, I remember,” Cailan interrupted. “This is the Tower of Ishal in the ruins, yes? Well, who shall light this beacon?”

“I have a few men stationed there. It's not a dangerous task, but it is vital.”

A smile spread slowly over Cailan's face. “Then we should send our best,” he said. “We will send Ser Alastair and Lady Elissa to make sure it's done.”

Alastair shifted beside her, his mouth opening to protest, until a stern look from Duncan kept him silent. Meanwhile, Loghain eyed them both, then grimaced.

“Very well, the Grey Wardens will light the beacon,” he said before turning and walking from the table.

“Thank you, Loghain” Cailan called after him. “I cannot wait for that glorious moment! The Grey Wardens battle beside the King for Ferelden to stem the tide of evil.

“Yes, Cailan,” came Loghain's reply, barely loud enough for Elissa to hear, “a glorious moment for us all.”

“I must also take my leave now,” Cailan said to them, “but I wish all of you well in the coming battle.” He walked passed them, pausing for a moment at Elissa's side. “Good luck,” he murmured, before walking away.

Duncan turned to them a few moments after the King left. “You heard the plan. The two of you will go to the Tower of Ishal and ensure the beacon is lit.”

“So,” Alistair said, an edge of bitterness in his voice, “he needs two Grey Wardens up there holding the torch, just in case.”

This earned Alistair another stern look. “That is not your choice,” Duncan told him. “If King Cailan wishes Grey Wardens to ensure the beacon is lit, then Grey Wardens will be there. We must do whatever it takes to destroy the darkspawn ... exciting or no.”

“I get it, I get it,” Alistair said with a dramatic sigh. He glanced over at Elissa. “Just so you know, if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line, darkspawn or no.”

She stared at him for a moment, then shook her head. “I think I might pay to see that.”

It was dark but she was certain his cheeks were suddenly quite a bit redder. “For you, maybe. But it has to be a pretty dress.”

It was Duncan's turn to sigh now, drawing their attention back to him. “From here, you two are on your own. Remember, you are both Grey Wardens. I expect you to be worthy of that title.”

“Duncan,” Alistair said, his voice suddenly serious and full of more emotional depth than Elissa thought he possessed, “may the Maker watch over you.”

“May He watch over us all.”


	11. In Death, Sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been a really long time since I updated this. Instead of running through the same old excuses, let me say that Inquisition being released has definitely pulled me deep into this fandom once more so I really do believe the wait for the next chapter will not be as long. Thank you as always for your patience!

_“Maker's breath! What are the darkspawn doing ahead of the rest of the horde? There wasn't supposed to be any resistance here!”_

_“You could try telling them they're in the wrong place.”_

_“Right. Because clearly this is all just a misunderstanding. We'll laugh about this later...”_

As dreams gave way to wakefulness, Elissa realized that it felt like an ogre was standing on her head. At first, it seemed an odd mental metaphor, until memory slide back into place and she realized an ogre had indeed almost done so.

Her eyes flew open and she took in her surroundings. She was in lying in bed in a small hut, dressed only in her undergarments, and she had no idea how or why.

“Ah, your eyes finally open. Mother shall be pleased.” The voice was familiar but Elissa couldn't place it, until the strange apostate stepped out of the shadows.

“What-” she had to stop and cough, her throat was so dry, “what happened?”

Morrigan looked at her far too calmly, given how little sense any of this made. “You were injured and then Mother rescued you. Do you not remember?”

Elissa slowly sat up in the bed, trying to put the pieces back together. “She rescued me from the tower?”

“Mother managed to save you and your friend, though twas a close call. What is important is that you both live.”

Her friend ... ah, Alistair. That was good news, but it still didn't explain anything. But Morrigan was not finished.

“The man who was to respond to your signal quit the field. The darkspawn won your battle. Those he abandoned were massacred. Your friend ... he is not taking it well.”

“What? No, Teryn Loghain wouldn't ... What happened to King Cailan? And the other Grey Wardens?”

“All dead. Your friend has veered between denial and grief since Mother told him. He is outside by the fire. Mother asked to see you when you awoke.”

There were more questions Elissa knew she should ask but it was all too much. None of this made any sense. Cailan dead, Loghain a traitor? She couldn't believe any of it but what would Morrigan or her mother gain by lying? And if Alistair believed it – surely he would have demanded proof before believing Duncan slain.

She stood up and managed to find her clothes and get dressed, though her body still ached with every move. But she had to keep moving, keep fighting, no matter what – she'd promised her father that. 

Morrigan's mother and Alistair were both standing outside, apparently waiting for her. “See? Here is your fellow Grey Warden. You worry too much, young man.”

Alistair just stared at her for a moment, the strangest expression of wonder on his face. “You ... you're alive?” He laughed, but it was a sound of shock, not mirth. “I thought you were dead for sure.”

“I think for a moment I thought I was too.”

He looked away and she could see now how red his eyes were. “Duncan's dead. The Grey Wardens, even the king. They're all ... dead. This doesn't seem real.”

“I know,” she said softly, and it was true. Watching him now was like looking into a mirror of past grief.

“I think I shall let the two of you be,” Morrigan's mother told them. “But when you are ready, we have much to discuss. Someone still needs to put an end to this Blight, after all.”

Elissa let those words sink in as the woman walked away. It was a lot to take in, particularly when her head still pounded. But it seemed as though she and Alistair were the only Wardens left in Ferelden now. She wasn't sure what that meant but couldn't imagine it was a good thing.

She looked over at Alistair but he was facing away from her, staring into the nearby swamp as if it might hold the answers. He muttered something under his breath but she was too far to hear what it was.

“Alistair?”

He swung back around to face her and he looked ... well, the only word for it was broken. “Stop the Blight, she says? As if it were that simple. As if the two of us could possible succeed where all the others have failed.”

She took a slow breath, doing everything she could to sound calm and reassuring. “But we have to try, don't we? Everyone knows that only the Wardens can stop it. Would you just sit back and let the world be destroyed?”

“Yes! Yes, I would and I will!” He turned away again, fists clenched. “I can't ... you didn't know them, not like I did. The Wardens ... they were my family. How can you expect me to just continue, as if this loss was nothing?”

Forget calm and reassuring, Elissa's blood was suddenly running hot and cold. “Alistair, look at me,” she ordered, her tone leaving no room for dissent. He obeyed, trepidation joining the myriad of emotions so clearly visible on his face. “My entire family was slaughtered before my eyes,” she reminded him. “My father, my mother ... even my nephew, who was only eight years old. If I had just given up and let grief take me, then I would be dead as well. But I didn't then and I sure as hell am not going to do it now. And if you are, then you can find a way to live with the fact that Duncan's memory was better served by a noble he knew for weeks, for whom archery was but a hobby, then by a trained warrior who claims to have been his family.”

She spun on her heels, not wanting to here anything more that he had to say, and walked in the direction that Morrigan's mother had gone. Someone had to go and have that conversation about ending this madness.

This discussion went smoothly, as Morrigan's mother – who claimed she was known as Flemeth – reminded Elissa of those treaties she and the others had reclaimed. There were still allies out there, the mages and the Dalish and the dwarves. It could be enough. It would have to be.

“We could also go to Redcliffe and seek aid from Arl Eamon. He was not at Ostagar and still has all his men.”

She looked over her shoulder to see Alistair standing at a distance. She had no idea how long he had been there but there was a new determination in his face. It made her remember that last morning with Cailan ... but no, she could not let herself think of him. The only thing that mattered was the duty she no bore, though at least it seemed she would not have to do so alone.

“He was Cailan's uncle,” Alistair continued. “I know him. He's a good man, respected in the Landsmeet. We could go to Redcliffe and appeal for his help.”

Arl Eamon would not have been her first choice but she wasn't in the position to refuse any possible allies. “I agree. If he would aid our cause, it would improve our position, especially when it comes to dealing with Loghain.”

With that decision made – and their agreement to take Morrigan with them – Elissa found herself growing weary and unsteady of her feet. It had been decided that they would leave in the morning, so for now it was best to get a good night's rest.

She returned to the hut and undressed, her body continuing to ache. As she settled down on the bed, her fingers brushed against something odd on her shoulder. She looked over it and was horrified by the healing wound there. She had vague memories of being struck by an arrow an it must not have gone cleanly through. Elissa knew she would bear a scar to remember it by for the rest of her life.

As she let the Fade take her once again, she knew it was likely the first of many.


End file.
